Prom Fairy
by WarningExplicitContent
Summary: Roxas hated prom. So, why was he suddenly helping people get dates? And how come Axel couldn't take a hint? AkuRoku. Rated for language and drug use.


**A/N: **Hey guys! Long time no see, huh? I've been working on a few things, including drabbles to accompany Mother Knows Best. I refuse to put them up until they are all done and I'm stuck on the Roxas/Axel one for some reason. Anyway, this was inspired by prom season, which I do not enjoy as well. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Still not mine.

* * *

**Prom Fairy**

The season that Roxas hated the most was prom season. Why? Because prom season was a time where privacy became nonexistent and everyone wanted to know who you were going with. Roxas, for his part, hated prom during his junior year. One reason was because Namine, though Roxas told her multiple times he was gay, continued to try and get in his pants. The other was because he found the grinding mindless and the couples sickening. The only reason he'd shown up was because he wanted to get drunk and maybe score a little pot.

His friends blamed Axel, who was a work friend of his who was twenty, for the pot. Roxas ignored this mostly because he was attracted to Axel. H really ignored them because they were dating, more like friends with benefits, but Roxas didn't care, not at all. So he was only a little bitter when Axel told him to ask someone.

"What do you mean ask someone?"

Axel offered his cigarette which Roxas turned down. "I mean you should go and enjoy yourself. High school is almost over. Then the real world shows up and it's gonna suck."

Roxas knew that comment had something to do with why Axel had never left home, or couldn't. Roxas knew the man was extremely smart and often wondered why he still worked at a grocery store. "First of all, I'm gay. Second of all, I hate prom. Third of all, I really hate prom."

Axel chuckled and gazed through his apartment window. "Then ask some twink at your school. I'm sure Sora would love to go with you."

Even though Roxas knew Riku was going to ask, Axel's comment still stung. Apparently, their weekend meetings were just sex dates. Finding out he was a booty call sucked.

"Whatever, I don't know why I even brought it up. I never planned on having a date anyway. It's not like I'm in a relationship or some dumb shit like that." Roxas continued to throw on his clothes at a furious pace. "I'll just stay home and eat some pizza. Throw my own anti-prom. I gotta go."

Axel sat up. "Wait, you're leaving? Why?"

"I have stuff to do. I'll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?" Roxas nearly bolted from Axel's apartment. On his way out of the building he crashed into Riku.

"Where's the fire, man? Why are you bolting out of here?" Riku steadied Roxas with a hand on his shoulders.

"Got things to do. I'll talk to you another time." Roxas rushed past but quickly glanced back at the man. "Make sure you ask Sora to prom. Otherwise, he'll cry and then I'll beat the shit out of you. Bye!"

Roxas felt good about the spluttering mess he'd made of Riku. That feeling dissipated when he realized nobody was asking him to prom. Not that he'd go or anything, it was just the principle of the thing. When he realized that was bullshit, he cried into his pillow for twenty minutes before smoking a joint and then crying some more.

* * *

At work the next day, Axel acted as if nothing weird had happened the night before. Roxas was content to let this happen. After his sob session, he realized that he had acted like a total pussy. He wanted to forget it all, but the conversation was still lingering in the back of his head. During his break, he went outside to cool his head and maybe forget about everything. Hayner was leaning against the wall, eyes closed.

"What's up, Hayner?"

Hayner's eyes snapped open, but calmed when he saw it was only Roxas. "Nothing, I'm just thinking."

Roxas snorted. "Yeah? About what?"

Hayner turned a dull shade of red and avoided Roxas's eyes. "It's not important. It's just…well…Olette is on the prom committee and has been bugging me to help her for weeks. Personally, I see no reason to help her since I won't be going. I always said I'd never show my face at a prom. This year…I kinda want to go because I'll be leaving. It's like I want something to remember this year by. Do you know what I mean?" Hayner paused. "Forget it, I know you hate prom. I'm just babbling."

Roxas shook his head. "No, I know what you mean. I wanted to go too, but I decided against it. Don't feel like entering that prom gossip stuff. You plan on getting a date?"

At that, Hayner's blush became even more pronounced. "Well…actually…" At that moment, Seifer pulled up in his car and blew the horn. "Let's go, Hayner! I have to be at work after I drop you off." Hayner looked at Seifer and nodded and then looked back at Roxas. If anything answered Roxas's question, it was the look in Hayner's eyes. Roxas knew it well; it was the same one he gave Axel. He watched Hayner sprint towards the car and decided that he would help. Hopefully, Hayner wouldn't be too pissed.

He walked back inside and saw Axel preparing to leave. "Yo, Roxas! Want to come over later?" Code for: Want to hook up later?

Roxas paused and looked anywhere but Axel's face. "Nah, I'm going to be busy for the next few weeks. I'll call you." Code for: I love you and it's breaking my heart that you don't seem to love me back.

Axel's face fell slightly. "Oh, okay."

* * *

Two hours later, Roxas pulled up to the diner where Seifer worked. He found him wiping down a booth in the back. "Seifer, I need to talk to you."

Without looking up from his work Seifer replied, "Don't have time to talk to you. Come back later."

"It's important."

"Don't care."

"It's more important than your job."

"Doubt it."

"It's about someone you care about."

"I hate everyone. Especially you right now."

"Can you stop being an asshole and just listen?"

"Fuck off, blondie."

"Hayner's in love with you."

"I said fuck-what?" Roxas enjoyed the dumbstruck look on Seifer's face.

"I said Hayner's in love with you. Like, he wants to have sex with you and then cuddle afterwards in love with you." Seifer said nothing. "Since I know you love him back, I think you should do that."

"How do you know he's in love with me?"

"I can just tell. So, you should do something about it. For example, you could ask him to prom. And then you can have sex. Or you can reverse them, I'm sure Hayner won't be picky."

"Prom? Hayner hates prom, and so do I."

"Hayner would love prom if you ask him to go. Just do as I say and Hayner will be happy and so will you."

"I don't even know how to ask someone to prom."

"Just think about something Hayner loves and incorporate it into your asking. You'll be fine. I have to go. Make sure you do this tomorrow, because it's his birthday. Make it extra special."

"Why the hell did you come here and do that? Hayner will be pissed."

"I know. But he'll be okay once he has you, as sappy as that sounds. So just do it. You should get back to work." Roxas turned on his heel and stalked out of the diner. It was amazing what you could do with a piece of information.

* * *

At school the next day, Hayner was loaded down with presents from everyone at school. The girls wouldn't leave him alone. Hayner, poor, poor Hayner could do nothing but smile politely and accept every present because that was the type of gentleman he was. Roxas had offered to carry some of his stuff on the way to sixth.

"Hey, can I have these brownies? The chocolate chips inside them are calling to me."

"Sure, man. There's no way I'll be able to eat all of this. Why do girls do stuff like this anyway?"

"They're trying to seduce you with baked goods. They think: If I make the best cake in the world, Hayner will love me for sure!"

"Shut up, you freak. Not all of the girls think like that."

Roxas laughed and opened up the door to class. "Sure they don't, Hayner. Stop deluding-holy shit!"

Hayner rushed in to stand beside Roxas. "What's wrong? I heard you-holy shit!"

Hayner's desk was covered in balloons, flowers and tons of pink. His chair had a huge sign that said: PROM? His desk contained boxes of chocolate, pink, flowers, also pink, and four red balloons attached to each corner of the desk. It looked like cupid had thrown up on his desk. Roxas hoped to God that this wasn't Seifer. Hayner, for his part, was looking mildly sick. It became even worse when a girl came out from the crowd, looking hopeful. Hayner looked like he might throw up. Roxas winced in sympathy for the girl and Hayner.

Awkward.

* * *

Hayner was still shaking on the way to Roxas's car. "Dude, it was awful. I didn't even know her name! I thought she was going to cry and I thought I was going to puke! I never want to go through that again!"

"Well, that sucks because it looks like you might have to. Look."

Hayner followed the directions and stared at Roxas's car. Seifer was leaning against it like it was his business. He looked bored, but Roxas could see the anxiousness in his body language. He was holding an ice cream sundae and next to him was a huge sign that said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY with PROM right underneath. Hayner looked even worse than he had during sixth. He turned to look at Roxas. "Is this for real?" He whispered.

"It damn well better be for real. I made him do it."

"You did _what_?"

Roxas coughed awkwardly. "I may have told him you loved him and wanted to have sex with him. Then I told him to ask you to prom."

"Roxas, I am going to _kill-"_

"Maybe you should go say yes before Seifer tells me I was wrong."

Hayner turned back to where Seifer's face was becoming more and more anxious. "Fine, but you are not off the hook." He walked over to where Seifer was standing and Roxas followed behind at a leisurely pace.

He saw Seifer offer the ice cream and Hayner shyly dip a spoon into it. Judging by the delight in his eyes, it was sea-salt. The next few things happened quickly. Hayner put the ice cream on top of Roxas's car, said yes, and then Seifer pulled him into the most aggressive first kiss Roxas had ever seen. Hayner clutched at Seifer's shirt and didn't appear to be upset at all. Roxas thought it was sweet, but then thought that he needed his car and them making out against it was not okay.

He cleared his throat and Hayner instantly detached his mouth from Seifer's. "I need my car back guys. I'm happy you worked it out, really. But no making out against my car."

Hayner turned bright red as he came back to himself. "Yeah, sorry Roxas we'll move. Sorry for….well, yeah, sorry."

"No, I get it. It's that first kiss thing. So…I'm going to go home now. I'm sure Seifer will be _more _than happy to take you home."

"Yeah, that was sort of in my grand scheme. Unless you said no, then I would have murdered Roxas."

"Well, I wasn't. Have fun guys and happy birthday, Hayner."

"Thanks, Rox, I mean it.

Roxas waved him off and got into his car. He watched as Hayner and Seifer walked away together, chest tightening. It sucked to see two people in love.

* * *

A week later Roxas was cursing his good intentions to hell. Hayner was hardly available to hang out and when they did hang out all he would talk about was Seifer. Including details Roxas never, ever wanted to know. So Roxas was reduced to sitting at home because hanging out with Sora included him moping about Riku.

So he was surprised to see Riku at his door looking a mess. The awkward silence that settled over them was like a blanket. "So…."

"I need your help asking Sora to prom."

"…..What?"

"I need your help asking Sora-"

"No, I heard that. What makes you think I can help you?"

"Well, I ran into Seifer and Hayner and I was shocked, obviously. So when I asked, Seifer said you had helped him and I figured you could help me too."

Roxas frowned. "I helped Seifer by giving him a suggestion. I'm no magician."

"I know! I just…I don't know how to ask him. Even if I do, there's no guarantee he'll say yes."

"Are you kidding me? You and Sora are the longest steady couple without actually being a couple. If I didn't know you insecure dumb assess, I'd think you were fucking."

"Look, I just want to know if you can help me or not. Think about how much you'd be helping a friend."

"Fine. Don't blame me if the actual asking goes horribly wrong. I'm not liable for you fucking up the plan."

"You'll help me? Oh thank God, I have no idea what to do."

Roxas waved him inside. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

* * *

Two days later, Roxas watched as Sora nearly fainted as Riku handed him a bouquet of roses. Roxas rolled his eyes; Sora was such a sap. He turned from the scene and walked back to class. At least he was done with this prom stuff. As he turned the corner he was yanked into the boys' bathroom.

"What the hell man?"

Pence apologetically straightened up Roxas's clothing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I saw you coming down the hallway and I figured it was the best time to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I need help asking Olette to prom. Riku told me you helped him and Seifer."

"Are you shitting me? What? Do you think I'm some kind of prom fairy?"

Pence winced. "No, I didn't mean that. I just need help. I can even pay you if you want!"

Roxas eyed the fifty waving in his face. Damn it, he hated his conscious sometimes. "I can't take your money, Pence. My questionable set of morals won't let me benefit off your happiness."

"You'll do it?"

"Sure man, I'll help you. I have to work this weekend but we can talk on Monday."

Pence leaped forward to hug him and Roxas swiftly stepped back. "Hug me after she says yes."

* * *

At work on Saturday, Roxas discovered two things: he fucking hated the store and he was still pining after Axel. He had put distance between them to help himself get over Axel. The first time their shifts had coincided in weeks Roxas saw him and immediately regretted not speaking. On top of that, the Saturday morning crowd was full of uppity suburban bitches on their periods.

"Are you sure you got the right type of lettuce? The icon you pushed doesn't look like the type I picked up."

Go die, bitch, "Ma'am, I assure you I got the correct type of lettuce."

She turned her nose up. "Well, no need to get that tone with me. The manners of young kids these days are horrendous."

Roxas fought the urge to tell her where she could stick her opinions. "Cash or credit?"

"I'll be paying with a card so give me a moment."

While the lady dug through her purse, Roxas typed in the code for every type of lettuce in the store. Who was wrong now?

"That'll be 72.68, Ma'am."

"Wow, didn't seem like I had that much when I walked around."

Roxas smiled. "Things do add up don't they?"

* * *

Near the end of his shift, Axel decided to grace Roxas with his presence. Roxas was fighting the urge to beg Axel to go back to his place.

"There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?"

At that moment, Pence rounded the corner dressed to the nine with a bouquet of roses. He looked nervous as hell and Roxas could practically see the sweat collecting on his forehead.

"So, I guess you found that date to prom."

Roxas sputtered as he saw Axel look at him with an unreadable expression. "What the fuck? He's not my date to prom. Far from it actually, I'm helping him get one."

Axel patted him on the back. "You don't have to lie to me, man."

"I'm not lying! Look, Pence will explain everything in a second."

Pence smiled as he reached them and set the flowers down on the end of the checkout lane. "Roxas, I need to ask you about prom and the stuff we talked about yesterday."

Pence had to have the worst timing and wording of any person Roxas had ever known.

Axel let out a melancholy chuckle. "If you liked someone you shouldn't have kept hanging with me, man. I feel bad for this dude now." Roxas could only shake his head. "I don't like being lead on."

"_You _don't like being lead on? You've been leading me on for _months! _Every time you call me to hook up a little part of me dies on the inside because I know I'm only your booty call. Every time I think our relationship has become more than just sex, you push me down two pegs by reminding me that you don't give a shit. I've been in love with you for almost a year and you never even noticed. So fuck you man, you've been leading me on."

Roxas turned away and grabbed an uncomfortable looking Pence. "Let's go, I've gotta get you a date to prom."

"Roxas! Roxas, wait!"

"Um, Roxas, don't you think you should answer that guy?"

Roxas pulled harder. "Shut the fuck up."

* * *

When Pence was successful, Roxas didn't expect more people to ask for his help. First, Terra needed help with Ventus. Then other people were flocking to him; Zexion, Marluxia, Kairi, Namine and even more. After two more weeks of this, Roxas officially hated his new position. He also hated the fact that he couldn't turn anyone down. And he hated that his love life sucked, partly because he had been avoiding Axel. He changed shifts, turned off his phone and didn't even venture in the area around Axel's apartment.

Roxas leaned against the wall and sighed. Life sucked. He glared at the new hopeful walking his way.

"Fuck, I should've charged for this."

* * *

When prom finally arrived, Roxas celebrated the day with a joint and an entire pizza. It was exactly the way he had imagined it would go.

* * *

The day after prom, Roxas awoke to furious knocking on his front door. He swung the door open to glare at the person on his stoop. Instead, he fought the urge to slam the door and lock it. Axel was standing there looking way too hot for how worried he appeared.

"So, I know that our relationship is kinda screwed up and I'm really sorry about that. I'm an asshole for not noticing, or at least that's what Riku says and I'm really sorry about that too."

"You were a huge asshole. I practically asked you to prom and you told me to find someone else while I was still naked in your bed."

Axel winced. "Yeah, Riku told me I was a dick when I told him about that. I like you and I would really hate if you went to prom with someone else."

"Well, that'd be hard to do since it was last night. I do appreciate the confession though."

Axel rubbed the back of his head. "Well, uh, that's awkward because I just asked you to prom. It's kinda all over your driveway."

"What did you do?"

"I used spray paint and put prom in big letters with a picture of me underneath. I thought you'd like it."

Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel. "I'm sure I'll love it." He walked towards his driveway, holding hands with Axel the entire way.

* * *

**A/N: **So, there it is. A sappy, cheesy story about prom and all the drama that comes with it. Reviews and **constructive **criticism are always welcome. I wrote this to keep my creative juices flowing so I could grace you all with funny drabbles. By the way, if you have any requests I'm open. If I can't do them, I'll let you know right away so you know I'm not ignoring you.

Much love,

~Debs


End file.
